Day 23: More lazing about on the river

Summary of the eco-lodge trip so far...

Bottles of water consumed: 20
Films viewed so far: 6
Types of fish spotted in river: 3
Tummy bugs: 1
Books completed: 0

Nothing else to report.

Day 22: Still in the jungle

After all the fun and games of the transfer two days ago, we're now dealing with JP getting what looks to be food poisoning. All night the poor thing was up and down, although he seems to be recovering today. I'm beginning to wonder if this backpacking malarkey is always this much fun for everyone or if we're particularly "blessed". Seems to me to be a conspiracy or else we're not praying to the right deity so are being visited by various plagues/disasters. We'll be off to the local pagoda soon at this rate to offer some jasmine flowers and a few incense sticks to buddha.

Apart from the tummy bug, there is not much to report - another day of quiet here on the river. We're enjoying the peace and quiet, and catching up on six months worth of DVD's. So far, in addition to the Pink Panther film of yesterday, we've now also made it through "It's Complicated" (I liked it, JP fell asleep), "Love Happens" (I liked it, JP grudgingly liked it too) and have many more to watch.


After all the fun and games of the transfer two days ago,As well as watching films, we've been watching the doctor fish eat our feet, or indeed any bit of us that is in the water. They are little leopard print decorated fish which eat dead matter, so if you have dead skin on your feet, they will happily munch it. This photo is of JP dangling his feet off the dock by the dining tent, waiting for the fish to take a bite. The feet in the next photo are mine and you can just about see the fish swimming around them.

Depending on the fish, it can be a slight tickle or a sharp pin prick sensation. They're popular over here apparently, and can be found kept in big jars at certain places as a spa treatment where people can put their feet in to have them cleaned up. Not sure about jars full of them, but they are entertaining in the river.

Day 21: I'm not a celebrity, don't get me out of here

It is clearer today that we're suffering shock about the accident. JP has been brave enough to look over the photo's again, whilst I'm reliving it in my head. At least we're in a good place for resting up. The eco-lodge is lovely, floating serenely in the middle of the river, amidst the tropical jungle. The view from our tent is one of river and palm trees, with the odd exotic bird flying overhead, or a local fisherman in his boat gathering the day's crab catch.

Once we're awakened by the boats or the wildlife, we can totter our way to breakfast in the main dining tent, then wander back to our tent for a day of reading, watching DVD's or sunbathing, with the occasional dip in the river to cool us down. The temperature starts at 32 degrees celsius, and we've seen it at 38 today, so even though the river is like bathing in a warm salty bath, it's still cooler than being on dry land.

The tent we're in isn't a tent in the British camping sense of the word. It is based on the luxury tents used at posh safari camps in Kenya, so is a permanent fixture, and furnished with a proper bed, desk, sofa, etc and contains all mod cons such as hot water and electric points. Whilst it is a travesty for die-hard camping fans, it's good for those of us who prefer "camping-lite".

Given that my neck has seized up, there won't be much activity to write about for this section of the trip. It turns out that I'm quite a fan of doing very little sometimes, and so far the very little comprises working my way through "Fast Food Nation" (definitely not lightweight holiday readying) and watching "The Pink Panther" remake with Steve Martin - JP does not rate it, but it made me smile, and that's no bad thing today.

Day 20: Baz Luhrmann was right

In his excellent song "Everybody's free (to wear sunscreen)", Baz Luhrmann refers to the following: "The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday." This entry is about how he's right.

Today we were in a car crash. On our transfer to a supposedly idyllic eco-lodge in the Cardamom mountains, our taxi-driver fell asleep at the wheel, veered across the road, then lost control of the car whilst righting it, so that we spun backwards across the road into a concrete telegraph pole, breaking it in three pieces, one of which fell on the roof of the car, crushing it completely, whilst the car teetered on the verge of a ditch.

JP and I are very fortunate as the injuries we sustained were whiplash (me only), shock (both of us) and some minor cuts and bruises. We didn't even have any strained muscles from climbing out of the passenger window (the only way out of the buckled car). The other passenger received concussion and whiplash, whilst the driver himself was unharmed. JP thinks he may however be mentally scarred by me yelling at him later on. In our guide book (the ever useless "Lonely Planet" on Cambodia - more on that another time) it mentions that when facing difficulties with people in Cambodia, one should smile at all times. I suspect it did not have a car crash in mind when written. I definitely stopped smiling, and whilst I don't think I swore, I wouldn't bet on it.

Having said all that, I can at least now descibe the Cambodian health service on a Saturday, and yes, the day does matter. Back home we'd have gone straight to A&E, probably in an ambulance. Not so here - if it is the weekend, the emergency room is closed. No skeleton staffing, just closed. Lesson 1 for unwary travellers - don't have an accident at the weekend.

After we were eventually rescued from the roadside an hour after the crash, we were taken in a transit van with no seats to the nearest town (another hour and a half) to the doctor. (Lesson 2: don't have an accident in the middle of nowhere as it is harder for people to find you when you need rescuing, and it takes far longer to get to medical assistance.) Upon arrival at the surgery, and some pushing from me, we found out the doctor had to be called as it was the weekend and no-one had thought to phone ahead. When he arrived, Dr Layson was pretty good, giving me and the other injured passenger the once-over as we were the only two with any signs of injuries. He dispatched us to have x-rays to make sure of no lasting spinal trouble and the fun continued, as that meant calling the x-ray technician at home, getting him to come in and open up the x-ray lab and perform the x-rays. This chap turns up on his motorbike 10 mins later, does the x-rays, including the development, before biking them back over to the surgery round the corner, where him and Dr L do their consultation and decide if we're ok. I now own my first ever x-ray, which is in an envelope in my backpack as a particularly unique souvenir of my travels. For $15, I thought the consultation and x-ray from two medical practitioners was excellent value, but I know I'd rather not repeat it again.

All in all, not a great start to this leg of the journey. We're thinking hard about how much longer we are going to keep going after this setback, but I'll keep you posted on plans as we make them.

Ps: it has now been confirmed that the other passenger appears to be making a good recovery so fingers crossed for him.

Day 19: Cambodia's past, present and future - Phnom Penh in a day

Having not done much yesterday for sightseeing, we had a full itinerary today. First on the list was Tuol Sleng, or the genocide museum as it is known to the tourists. JP was a bit worried it might be a bit much for my wussy nature, but I insisted we go, with each of us able to walk out if needed.

The museum is in one of the former prison/detention centres where the Khmer Rouge carried out some of their worst atrocities, so it is a grim place indeed. It was a secondary school before it was converted in the early days of the revolution and it is awful to see what they did to it, as well as learn what they did to the inhabitants. We didn't take any photo's there, it seemed wrong, as though it turned the place into a tourist sideshow, and it is much more important than that to the Cambodian people. It felt like the building had absorbed all the sorrow of those who died there somehow - a chilling place indeed.

Having made it through the museum, we headed for somewhere reassuringly human and modern - the central market. It was a refreshing contrast and the bustle and sights reminded us to look at what Cambodia is now. It is only 31 years since the Vietnamese liberated the country from the Khmer Rouge, and given that Phnom Penh was a ghost town during the revolutionary years, it has developed fast especially during the last ten years apparently. It is certainly very modern now. There is lots of investment here, from small businesses like our own B&B to massive corporations moving in to get an Asian foothold. The central market is being rebuilt at the moment with French investment. In the meantime it is the perfect place for unwary tourists to find themselves in the middle of a building site (guess who?).

After the market, we had some lunch on the river front and then headed up to another of the charity-run shops, this time selling goods by people with disabilities. I managed to get two christmas tree ornaments made of silk - one is a reindeer, the other a turtle. Not sure turtles are really festive, but this one is really lovely to look at!

We were whiling away time until we could go to see the Royal Palace, so we wandered down a street and suddenly found ourselves facing Wat Phnom, the central buddhist temple that people go to in order to ask for good luck, especially for events such as exams or a driving test. It is a beautiful temple on top of a hill in the middle of what is essentially a massive roundabout, so it was a bit tricky to walk across to. Once on the island, one of the first things we saw was a monkey - sitting there minding it's business eating something. There were lots more around, and they seem to be "wild" although in reality they are practically domesticated, so used to humans are they. We haven't seen much wildlife on this trip, so we were quite excited and I have too many photo's of monkeys as a result!!

After the temple, we were able to wander down to the palace, a long hot sticky walk, not helped by the need to ensure we were covered up with suitable clothing upon arrival at the palace. This is a conservative country and they don't like westerners exposing more than necessary, so I found myself donning my cardigan in 35 degree heat, just to show suitable respect. The things we do as tourists... anyway, in we went to see where the royal family lives.


The royal palace compound is the equivalent of Buckingham Palace, but it is dramatically different in appearance. Just as with Buck Palace, visitors can only see a small fraction of the site, but the fraction is rather impressive even so. The main bits are the throne room and the silver pagoda, and they have a lot of similarity to the Thai style of architecture. Apparently, Cambodians can be a bit snippy about people thinking they copied the Thai's on anything - the Cambodian empire existed first, and a lot of Thai culture was developed afterwards as a result. Still not sure it was worth the sweating though.

After chilling out back at the hotel for a bit, we headed out for dinner, in tuk-tuk again to another of the Friends restaurants, Romdeng. The most memorable part of the evening however, was JP giving Khmer cuisine a go. After a snifter of honeyed rice wine for dutch courage, he embarked on his most adventurous culinary experience ever - deep-fried tarantulas!!! The plate duly arrived with three of the crispy critters on it and JP's face was a picture. He faltered for a moment, before picking the biggest one up and biting into it with gusto. He described the flavour as somewhat nutty, with a hint of chicken, and texture like armadillos - "crunchy on the outside, soft in the middle". I've never been so proud and horrified simultaneously before. Ironically, this was the one occasion we had left the camera at home, so no visual proof available, but I will be keeping the memory for a long time to come.

Day 18: Travelling up to Phnom Penh

What a journey - up early to start the boat trip to Cambodia, and never a dull moment. The boat from Chau Doc was late in setting off, then 20mins in we had to turn back to pick up two people the driver forgot, then we had a half hour delay whilst a different couple had to sort out cash for the visas, before we finally set off properly. It didn't really matter as we knew we wouldn't be able to check in until after lunch, but it was a bit tense thanks to the general level of fussing amongst the others.

Once underway the only notable things about the journey were the two stops for immigration - one to sign us out of Vietnam and the other to sign us into Cambodia. As both went smoothly, despite JP's fears, there isn't much to share. Oh, except for the world's smallest banana's - see photo of my hand holding one of them. We received a snack pack, and each had three of these tiny pieces of fruit. It's all a conspiracy to make us feel even more like giants!

Once in Phnom Penh, we arrived at the tourist dock, and faced the usual barrage of drivers trying to convince us to use them as transport. Given we knew our B&B was some distance away, we decided to opt for our first tuk-tuk, and it was great fun. After the two dodgy cyclo's the boat company sent to get us first thing in Chau Doc, the tuk-tuk was luxury and much safer by comparison.

The B&B is really nice - very modern and I think it might be quite new too. Our room is one of five and is at the top of the building, up three floors, so it is a bit of a hike with bags as there isn't a lift in such a small property.

Once settled in, we headed out to look round the city. I'm a paranoid android about what to wear as the Lonely Planet guidebook has completely freaked me out about how conservative Cambodia is and now I'm fretting about vest tops. Having had a stress about this, we made it to the National Museum to look at the Khmer sculptures, almost as a warm-up to Angkor. As there are lots of Buddha statues there, the museum has an unusual fund-raising method of offering people jasmine flowers threaded on sticks to offer to the statues, together with a financial offering, as though it were a temple. As most people have altars at home and in their places of work, this is not a surprise to the Cambodians, but seems quite clever to a westerner to me. This is a statue in the courtyard outside - it is of Ganesh, the god of happiness and look how happy he is with his round tum from eating lots.

Once we'd done the tour of the museum, we headed out to continue our wandering. We'd just walked around the corner looking for something to eat and there was one of the recommended places to eat that is run by an NGO, the Friends restaurant. It is run as a charitable organisation for the benefit of kids from the street. There is so much poverty here still and a big problem with sex tourism and kids being at risk so there are lots of organisations trying to help stop this. The Friends restaurant offers really westernised food, drink and atmosphere but is entirely staffed by former street kids, some of whom have gone on to become teachers at the school, which is a big complex behind the restaurant. It is a brilliant restaurant, fab food at low prices, especially for those of us used to prices from the west.

Cambodia is notably more expensive than Vietnam, which I think is because so many people come here for Angkor. It is far more westernised generally here in PP than in either Hanoi or HCMC, and the people are less friendly and more aware of what tourists can and will pay for things. Although things are still cheap compared to home, it's been a shock to us after Vietnam and we're still making the adjustment to the new price scale.

We wandered some more and found ourselves on the river front, where we discovered the Foreign Correspondents Club, or FCC for short. This is something of a PP institution, and is where the journalists who reported on Cambodia in decades gone by would gather as a watering hole. Situated on the first and second floors of an old colonial building looking out over the river front on one side and the beauty of the National Museum building on the other, it is definitely worth a visit. This is the view over the museum from the FCC.

Days 16 & 17: Taking a slow boat down the Mekong

The latest news from the east is that we've been on a boat on the Mekong delta. We'd read it was a fab way to get a feel for this part of the country as life in the delta exists around the waterways so you can get closer to what's happening. JP did lots of research and did us proud.

We started at HCMC, getting picked up from our hotel in an air-con mini-van. I suspect using air-con doesn't help with the transition to this climate, but there is nothing so lovely as actually cooling down at the end of a hot sticky day of sightseeing, or on a long journey to a new town. In the minivan were our two fellow travellers, Jenny and Anna, a lovely pair of friends, also from Britain, who turned out to be great fun and good company over the next day. Together we all zoomed up to Cai Be, which is a small town where we were supposed to see our first floating market and join the boat.

After a non-existent market, we were taken to a settlement where we were to see the making of some Vietnamese foods. I'm a bit wary of these after the kung-fu demo on the Hué trip, but this one was really good. Because there were only four of us who were english-speaking, we were able to ask more questions and get a better tour than the larger french group, and it worked out really well. Hom, our english-speaking tour guide, was really helpful and keen to answer our questions, plus he was more laid back so that was much nicer. He explained how the sweet rice cakes are made (taste a bit like rice krispie marshmallow cakes) and coconut candy and rice paper. Then we sat down and had some green tea. How proud do I look on this photo? Hom suggested to JP that he could try the snake wine, which is rice wine with snakes and scorpions and who knows what marinated in it. It is alleged to have medicinal properties for virility and back pain. JP mentioned it to me and it seemed an ideal opportunity to try it without having to buy a bottle - after all, I've drunk water from a stream with a dead sheep in it before, so how bad could this be? Granted I didn't know about the sheep at the time, whereas this time the snake's glassy dead eyes were staring at me from the jar, but still, this is what travelling is all about. Of our travelling companions, Anna was game, but Jenny took a little persuading, but in the end we all tried it. It was very like whisky and I don't know about medicinal properties, but it certainly warmed the insides.

Then it was onwards to meet the boat; it is fantastic. It is a large boat with about 15 cabins, each en-suite, quite similar to the one we went on in Ha Long Bay, but this one is better as it had a separate lounge, plus two sun-decks with more seating on. We also had a balcony in our cabin. This was especially useful for leaving shoes on, thus saving the air in the cabin, and also later turned out to be a great way to slowly come round after the 5:50am awakening from the engine.

The itinerary after joining the boat was to go sailing on the delta whilst having lunch then relaxing on the sundeck, then to have a wander on shore to carry out what Jenny referred to as "a scratch and sniff tour" of a local farm and try some of the fruit grown in the delta, before dinner, when we'd be sailing again. It was wonderful, sailing down the rivers, waving to the children on the banks, looking at the brick kilns and fish farms, seeing the strange Cao Dai churches with their "all-seeing eye" painted on the front. The delta is really different to the rest of the country; both of the strange home-grown religions of Vietnam still have their heartland here, Cao Dai and Hoa Hao, and the reliance on water makes traditions more important somehow, as life still follows the patterns laid out by the wet and dry season and regardless of a changing world, these seasons still decide how life is lived here.

At the farm tour we saw banana flowers on banana trees and pineapple plants (I was very excited by both of these - I always wondered what their plants looked like and pineapples were a big surprise). We tried jack fruit, pomelo and another fruit I didn't catch the name of, but reminded JP of a cross between a peach and a fig. My favourite was the jack fruit, but since that was sweet as candy, there is no surprise there.

Dinner was fun as the four of us Brits were company and kept ourselves entertained swapping stories for the evening, and then it was time for bed, especially as the sunrise would be at 5:50am and is one of the must-see's on the delta apparently. Dutifully I arose at the appointed time to find JP was far too perky, having been awake since 3am, thanks to "passing traffic" as he put it. Clearly the earplugs didn't work this time... anyway, he was lively and all set with camera in hand to go do his David Bailey impression. We went out onto the balcony and it was beautiful. The misty light and the red sun on the hoizon made it seem magical, and grumpy though I was, I agreed it was worth it.

After a leisurely breakfast on the sundeck, we transferred onto a smaller boat to go to the floating market of Can Tho. This was fab, a flotilla of boats all gathered to trade their wares. The bigger boats of the farmers come in for a few days at a time with their crops, and then the market traders come in their boats and buy the crops to take to the land markets in the region. There are smaller boats of people, mostly women, who provide cooked food or drinks, and given the large number of tourists who visit, there are boats serving the tourists refreshments too. It's a lively show.

After the floating market, we had a wander round Can Tho, and then had lunch on the big boat again. JP and I were then off on our transfer to Chau Doc, a town near the Cambodian border where we'd pick up the boat to take up up the Mekong to Phnom Penh.

I can't believe we'll be in a new country tomorrow and starting the Cambodian part of the adventure!

Day 15: Visiting the Bond villain lair

Highlight of the entire trip so far: visiting the 60's timewarp that is the Independence Palace. It is fantastic - I can't rate this place highly enough as a tourist site, but then we had a particularly entertaining visit.

We arrived about 10am and as usual in Vietnam, we were herded to one side and told that if we wanted to join and english-speaking tour we should wait over there for 10 minutes. Being tourist sheep, we did as bid and waited. A young woman in traditional dress (an ao dai - see how I'm learning?!) came over and said she would be our tour guide. Either it is not a popular attraction or else we just struck lucky, but we were the only two on this tour and it was really good. Her english was good and the information she told us about the palace was really interesting.

The palace is the symbolic site of the reunification of the two halves of Vietnam after the American war, as on April 30, 1975, two tanks stormed the palace and reclaimed it for a reunited Vietnam, signalling the end of the war in effect. The two tanks are still there in the grounds, which is normal for any Vietnamese museum as there is a fascination with having military hardware on show wherever possible, especially if it is captured American tanks/aircraft/guns/etc.

Inside the palace, it is still exactly as it was left when it was stopped being used by the southern Vietnamese president in the 70's. On the ground floor this isn't so evident, as the rooms are fairly traditional in decor, but as soon as you go upstairs to the private rooms of the president and his family it is like stepping back in time. The best room for me was the gambling room with the big round sofa in the middle and the barrel bar - it is a cocktail bar in the corner of the room made to look like a barrel. Very dated, but fab to look at.

However, the real fun part is when you go into the basement. It was made into a split-level bomb-proof shelter, fully functional as a command centre for the president and his advisors. There are still maps on the wall and red telephones and old-fashioned communication equipment. It is almost a living snapshot of what it was like for the president in the 70's during the final days of the war.

All this was delight enough, but to add to the memory, midway through our tour we were asked if we would agree to be filmed for the news. Vietnam tv were filming about the palace as part of the build-up to the annual celebrations of 30 April, reunification day. We agreed, although neither of us felt particularly up to the task, given how hot and sticky we were and how slow our brains were working as a result. Still, we've 15 minutes to use up according to Andy Warhol, so we said yes anyway. The questions were run through first, but then when the camera started to roll, the interviewer changed them, so my mind went blank and I may have burbled my answers for all I know. Then the cameraman followed us round the rest of the tour, watching our reactions and making us look like we were taking pictures of things so he could get a good angle. It was fun, but a bit odd, and I suspect it won't be winning any awards for gritty journalism!

After the independence palace we decided to head back to the main market in the city and have lunch there. This was quite brave for us, as we've been quite wussy after the tummy bugs and haven't tried too much street food. We wandered in and as usual we were hassled within seconds to come and eat at various stalls. We picked one at random and were seated on the tiniest plastic seats, almost in the main walkway. I think maybe it is a form of fun for the stallholders to put the westerners on the tiny seats instead of the counter seats, which are taller, but less comical.

Having perched ourselves, we ordered our food - they did veggie so I was ok, and JP had a wide range of options so he was spoilt for choice. The food was good and it was good fun eating there. I could gaze around me at all the weird and wonderful stalls with foodstuffs on them, including more varieties of fruit than I think I've ever seen before, and a wide range of dried fish that makes your eyes water when you breath in, so strong is the smell. So far JP hasn't shown signs of wanting to try it, but I'm not sure he will. Even he has limits to how adventurous his tastebuds can be.

After lunch we did a bit of shopping in the market. I wanted some vest tops, so I thought I'd try my haggling skills out. Now either they are very good or very bad, because the first stallholder I tried them out on gave up and walked away, but I managed to knock the second one down to something more reasonable.

A few more items and it was time to stop at another food stall for dessert, this time for ché. This is a really weird drink/sweet dessert that we've seen all over Vietnam. It seems to consist of jelly sweets and beans (legumes, not the jelly sort), mixed with lots of crushed ice and coconut milk/juice. Sounds vile, tastes really good.

Headed back to the hotel for a break from the heat, and then it was out for dinner, and then we went for ice-cream to Fanny's again. On the way back, we saw some dancing in the pavilions in the park opposite our hotel, so we stopped to watch and had a go ourselves. Lila would be proud of our efforts, although I know she would not be impressed at some of the footwork on display from the dancers! Further on in the park were lots of people playing a game we hadn't seen before. Everywhere here the street sellers have a type of toy available which looks like a mini-concertina of plastic with feathers coming out of the top. It is apparently called shuttlecock and the kids play it by kicking it back and forth to each other like the old hackysack game that was played at home. It was really fun to watch them play in teams and groups so we sat down for a while, enjoying the coolness of the evening.

After about two minutes we were spotted and that was the end of watching. Two different groups of young vietnamese people came over to ask if they could talk to us to practise their English. It was great fun talking to them and they were all so nice and interested in anything we could tell them about life at home, and answered our questions too. All the Vietnamese are like this, and it has made our trip here to be able to meet so many friendly people.

Day 14: HCMC is hot!

Sunday morning and the heathens were off to the zoo for a day of sunshine and frolics. Having been told by the reception desk that it would take an hour and a half at least, clearly we were mad to walk, but mad dogs and Englishman etc. We set out fairly late in the morning, but it was a nice leisurely stroll up to the botanic gardens and the zoo. As usual we managed to make finding the entrance difficult. We have a theory now that if there are four potential entrances, it will always be the fourth that is open, or the fourth side of the building will be where the magic entry door exists. It's happened at most places we've visited where there is no clear map or guidance in the guide book and the zoo was the same as usual.

Having finally found the entrance, it was only 50p each entry fee and at that price it is clear why so many of the Vietnamese had treated themselves to a family day out. There were so many groups, either families or schools or young people, all scattered about the grounds, either walking or looking at the animals or having a picnic. We had a great time. There aren't many animals, and some of them looked a little sad, such as the elephants, but then we saw the two white tigers and that was the highlight of the entire visit. We've never seen any in other zoo's and they were really well-kept and very playful with each other.

The only other animal exhibit worth mentioning was the lesser-spotted white Europeans - i.e. me and himself. Wherever we went in the park we were the subject of fascination and it was a little disconcerting. It occurred to me that perhaps the families who were at the zoo on a Sunday did jobs unconnected to tourism so we were a novelty. Many parents encouraged their children to come over and speak to us, just to practise their english, and it isn't an isolated experience. Everywhere we've been in Vietnam there are young people keen to practise who will start random conversation just to have an opportunity. They are so keen and so very friendly that it is always worth giving them a chance, and the smiles you get in return are a real delight. Occasionally we've been caught out by opportunist sellers as a result, but they are in the minority.

"Here is the lesser-spotted white European in his natural habitat. His mate has disappeared for the moment and he is happy by himself taking a drink. Note the unusual facial expression. Clearly this is a creature in great distress, so we shall leave him be and head to see the other animals instead..."

Once we'd finished at the zoo, we wandered into the museum on the same site. It is a separate fee and not really much to write about, but at least we upped the culture rating for the day. Well... apart from the fact that all I could think about was finding a loo, an ice-cream and a sit down in that order, and then once all were satisfied I wanted to leave. There was an interesting gallery with Champa statues in it taken from My Son, the ruins we saw in Hoi An, so at least that completed the My Son story for us. It always seems a shame that you have to go on a treasure hunt to see all the pieces of the jigsaw puzzle of a country's history, but it is saving them for the future I guess.

After the zoo, I made one of my not-so-bright suggestions about going to see a "nearby pagoda". Turns out it wasn't quite so close and when temperatures are in the upper 30's it pays to do your research more thoroughly... still, having committed to finding the Jade Emperor pagoda, find it we did. We wandered with only a vague map from the guide book until (after going round all four sides of the block) we finally found the "Turtle Pagoda" as it is locally known. Whilst it was very pretty, it didn't have much going for it that we hadn't seen in other pagodas except one thing - turtles. The name gives it away really, but you have to see the number of turtles to understand why. Outside the pagoda sat a little old lady selling terrapins and goldfish, and when we walked into the pagoda, in the courtyard inside, we saw that both of these can be released as offerings to the gods. On the back of the turtle shells were written prayers in white pen, and then these were let go into the turtle pond, which has an enormous number of the animals in it, some of which were really big and old.

We then wandered off back to the hotel for a much needed shower and clean-up before heading out for dinner, but before we reached the hotel I spotted a much-welcome detour - Fanny's ice-cream shop. JP had told me about it from the guidebook (our bible on all things) and it was worth it, expensive or not. We each had an ice-cream sundae and then headed back to the hotel much revived. In true Japanese tourist-style, I had my photo taken a the counter with the obligatory v-sign. We have no idea why they do it, but every time we see Japanese tourists, they are usually making a v-sign in front of whichever site they are photographing.


Dinner was a bizarre affair as we headed to a veggie place around the corner, it felt like we were eating in someone's garage á la the pop-up restaurants I keep reading about back home. It was down an alleyway and there was no decoration in it, merely whitewash walls and concrete floors, with a few fans and some trestle tables and chairs added. It is run by Cao Dai followers - reading about this group put me in mind of a cross between scientology and some extreme political group, but the people running the restaurant were lovely. Cao Dai promotes respect for all living things like buddhism, hence the veggie menu.

Day 13: Arrival in Ho Chi Minh city

Up early to get to Da Nang airport an hour away, so we could fly to HCMC. After the sleeper train experience, I needed a break before trying more sleeper methods of travel, so the short hour long flight down to HCMC was the perfect alternative to a 12 hour coach trip. It is weird to see so many westerners on an internal flight, and so few Vietnamese. It shows the price of flights compared to normal Vietnamese incomes.

We'd decided to get the hotel to arrange a taxi this time to avoid the hassle factor, and then it was an half hour trip in the usual city chaos I have come to associate with Vietnam. The hotel is on the edge of the backpacker ghetto, and is quite a nice one. We've been upgraded so we're on the 6th floor and although there isn't much of a view, it takes us away from the noise of the street.

Once settled in we headed out to start to familiarise ourselves with HCMC itself. It is different to Hanoi as the streets are wider and more open, which is the French influence, although there are just as many motorbikes. It is also a lot hotter, so within minutes of being outside the sweating becomes overwhelming and dehydration is a real possibility. We stocked up with water and walked out towards the main market in the city, Ben Thanh. Once out of the market, we headed northeast towards the Notre Dame and the General Post Office, which are two of the few real "sites" in the city. By this time we were well and truly suffering with the heat, so the appearance of one of the many street vendors, this one carrying coconuts, was very welcome. I did some bargaining and we sat down to drink.



A few more blocks, feeling much revived, and we eventually came to the GPO. This is a slice of history itself as it looks like it hasn't changed since the tanks rolled in. It still has the telephone booths people once used to make calls, all wooden booths in a row down each side, although one side has now been converted into ATM's and is less romantic as a result. Time for a photo of the adventuring twosome outside and then off again.



As we came out of the GPO, the threatening clouds overhead stopped threatening and actually took action - it began to rain, proper big drops that turned into a torrential downpour. There was suddenly a wind too, so it was a real soaking for the city, which we escaped from into the nearby Diamond Plaza, a very swish new shopping mall. The centre shows there is some money being made in this city somewhere as it stocked all the latest brands and reminded me a bit of Selfridges. We headed for the food court, which tickled me as it seems to be a very Asian thing to have food courts everywhere, even in the posh shopping centres. There was a cheaper youth-oriented version on the top floor where KFC and Pizza Hut could be found, but the one for adults further down didn't have any western brands in it. So far we have not seen a McDonalds anywhere in Vietnam and that must surely be intentional, although I can't find out why.

Once the rain abated, we headed back to the hotel, and collapsed until evening when we headed out again, this time into the backpacker village behind our hotel. It is as tacky and charmless as you could hope, with lots of cheap hotels and places to eat, packed in tightly with travel agents and clothing/souvenir shops, all trying to catch the unwary passer-by. The best thing about it was leaving it behind when I walked back in the hotel.

Day 12: JP gets a tummy bug so JQ has a day of leisure

Well, what do you know, JP managed to get sick too whilst we were in Hoi An. This shouldn't put anyone off Hoi An, I hasten to add - I was sick en route there, and JP's appears to be a combination of things. He woke feeling rubbish, so I breakfasted on my own then returned to see how the invalid was doing. He was really rough by then, so I kept him company for a bit, catching up on emails etc. By lunchtime, he was on an even keel, so I took advantage of the lull and headed over the road to one of the many beauty salon/spa's there and had a manicure and a pedicure. Spa services (the legit sort!) are really popular over here, although I can't figure out if they are purely to catch the lucrative tourist market. Tourists are seen as hugely wealthy and can be viewed almost as walking ATM's regardless of how the tourist themself thinks of the goods or services on offer. Given how cheap things are here compared to home, it is easy to see why though. The two "-icures" together were only about £5.

I popped home and checked JP was still ok then went for lunch at the "Red Apple" across the road, where JP ate when I was sick. As well as trying the local speciality of Cao Lao in veggie form, I also tried a fresh coconut juice. They served the coconuts whole, with the lid sliced off and a straw to drink it. They sell them on the street, but I'd not seen any to buy at that point. It cost about 66p and was really tasty, and you can even cut it open afterwards and eat the coconut inside if it is ripe enough.

Having headed home, JP was starting to revive so after another nap, we headed out for our last evening in the old town. We headed for western food to keep things simple, so found a place called "Good morning, Vietnam" which was great. It is in an old chinese merchant house, so there is a courtyard in the middle of the house, which is where we sat, and totally in contrast to the italian food we ate - bruschetta and pasta, with ice-cream to follow. Fab food in fab surroundings, followed by a gentle stroll back to the hotel to pack for the transfer to Ho Chi Minh City.



The old town is lit up with lots of lanterns of different colours and types and it really makes it a pretty place to walk around. There are shops selling these silk lanterns all over the place and they are so cheap, but we've resisted so far.

Day 11: My Son ruins and backpacker bonding

Up bright and early for our trip out to My Son, where there are ruins from the Champa empire dating back to the 4th century. The bus was picking us up at 5am, so we were down in reception waking up the caretaker at 4.55am, not so bright eyed or bushy tailed. The thinking behind the early start was to a) beat the heat of the day and b) avoid the crowds, otherwise I'd have been safely tucked up in the land of nod.

We were both chuckling to ourselves like teenagers during the pre tour talk from the guide, as he gave us a brief history of the ruins and warned us about the state that they were in and the number of 'bum holes' resulting from American B52 bombardment during the war.

The ruins themselves were surrounded by thick jungle, with mist shrouded hills in the background, but were fairly unspectacular themselves. The bombing destroyed so much of the site that there are very few intact buildings remaining. However, what did remain was ample evidence of the workmanship of the ancient Champa people, with numerous sculptures of the Hindu gods they worshipped and fantastically constructed brickwork buildings.

On the journey back, I could see lots of things laid out by the side of the road, drying out. These were different colours and some were easily identified, such as sweetcorn. There was one I could not identify though and so asked our guide for help. He informed me it was rice, and now I have a whole new perspective on the rice that we cook back home as well as eating here. It is easy to eat food when you don't know how it's prepared, but having seen the rice from the fields being dried out on sacks literally on the road, with lorries and cars driving over it regularly, it makes you stop and think!

The photo shows the sweetcorn drying out. It was taken at speed in the bus, so it is a bit of an action shot!

Then it was back to the hotel for a day relaxing by the pool before going for a bite to eat in town. After dinner we decided to go for a walk over the bridge on Cam Nam island. There we found a backpacker bar called Sleepy Gecko's. Having met only a few english-speaking people on our brief travels so far, it was quite nice to talk at length with new faces, so meeting Dan the builder from NYC provided some entertainment for the evening. Watching JP get trounced at pool by the Vietnamese barmaid, who appeared to be a hustler, was also fun, coming as it did hard on the heels of my own pathetic performance at said sport. We finished up there at about 11pm and headed home to the hotel, to wake up the caretaker for the second time that day.

Days 8 & 9: I hate being sick in foreign countries ...

Up bright and early for the transfer from Hué to Hoi An on day 8, and no sooner had I eaten breakfast than the grumbling within began. By lunchtime the scene was set for the next act after a four hour coach trip down the coast, and yours truly retired to her bed at the new hotel to alternately sleep or... well, let's say it wasn't pleasant and leave it at that. I'm writing this two days later so have the blessed relief that it is all pretty much a memory, and I've had worse tummy upsets in Europe, so I was lucky compared to some, but that's no relief. It's a rite of passage so JP tells me, but so speaks a man whose idea of tummy upset is indigestion after a rich meal. Since he slept through the worst night (the earplugs I gave him are a little too effective for my liking), he can't really comment!

I'm very, very grateful that we're in a nice hotel. I chose it for a change (JP chose the first two) so it would have been my own fault if it was a bad one, but being ill in a nice place makes everything better. The staff are so nice and so keen to help, and JP's stories of his latest conversations with the various receptionists over the course of the days made me smile lots. I can't imagine how it is complicated to extend the hotel room for another two nights, but somehow it was for JP and he made me chuckle recounting it. Anyway, as a result of the tummy bug, we're now staying in Hoi An for an extra two days and we couldn't have picked a nicer place for it.

Hoi An is a really pretty town, with a lovely riverfront, with charming shops and buildings in the old town centre. It is on the UNESCO heritage list, or at least bits of it are, and well worth a visit. This is the first place we've been to that I have completely relaxed, as the pace of life is so much calmer and the people are more laid back. There is less traffic so less likelihood I'll need to use my travel insurance each time I cross the road, and the sun is out so what more could I ask? I can't comment on the food yet as I'm just starting to eat again after two days, but fingers crossed all is good on that front too.

Having recovered enough to venture out for a bit yesterday morning (day 9), we headed into the old town to look at the sights there. Visitors can buy a ticket which covers five of a variety of different sights, so you "choose your own adventure". We went to the Japanese Bridge first, which is a bridge built by the Japanese community in Hoi An, back in the days when people kept to their own ghettoes and didn't mix much. Evidently one set of folk lived on one side of the river, the Japanese set up stall on the other and in order for everyone to trade, a bridge had to be built. JP told me about a ceremony where a metaphorical sword was put in the bridge in the 16th century to stop earthquakes across Asia that were being caused by a dragon who's heart was below it, but since the ceremony failed to stop the quakes, I think history proves that some ideas are best left unsaid.

My favourite bit though was the visit to the handicrafts workshop. By chance, we arrived just as a demonstration of traditional entertainment was about to begin, so we stopped to watch. I normally wouldn't make a beeline for opera in any country, but amongst the selection of pieces was a clever dance and song by a young chap who was supposed to be a warrior from ancient times. Even JP commented that his use of his stick-on beard as a prop was impressive. After a few pieces covering folk songs, opera and instrumental pieces, the only jarring note was the end piece where all the cast came together on stage to sing Auld Lang Syne in Vietnamese - one of the weirdest things I've ever sat through.

Then it was back to the hotel to sit out the heat of the day before attempting dinner in the evening. Whilst dinner was not an entirely successful venture (for me at least, JP seemed to love his steak!), we loved the walk out along the river. It was a cooler evening for a change, so we were enjoying the welcome breeze as we strolled along the promenade with cafe's and restaurants alongside the street vendors. We stopped for a drink of sugar cane juice from one of the "cafe's" - really a portable stand set up with plastic tables and chairs at the roadside, but they are a perfectly normal business here. One of the funniest things is that JP managed to get stuck in a chair again. It's the second time he's found himself getting stuck as the chairs are often children's sizes, since we are giants in a land of lilliputians here in Asia. We've tried to get sun hats whilst here and the same problem occurs - everywhere we try them on, the hats perch on top, looking like we've tried kids stuff on. Very funny, but a bit tricky when you've stopped for a drink and you're trying to subtly disengage the furniture.


JP thinks the size difference is chuckle-worthy, hence this latest pic he snapped of me with a local lady trying to sell me bananas on one of Hoi An's many bridges.

So now I'm more or less recovered and ready to take on the world again, we're all set to embark on the sightseeing proper with our next trip in day 10, but more of that in the next entry...

Day 7: Hué Again

After a structured tour day, we were in the mood to take it easier, especially as this is now the hottest we've been so far on this trip. I'd guess the temperature is in the 30's, and it is humid too, so it feels like walking into a steam room when we leave the air con of the hotel. Well, it does when the air con works. We've discovered in Hué that Vietnam is currently struggling with growing pains in the form of a power shortage. The guide yesterday explained that the power has to be switched off in different sections of the city at different times in order to conserve enough for everyone. This explained to us why the power went off yesterday morning (thankfully they have hot water tanks, not electric showers) and why tonight we were met with the now familiar whirr of the generator upon our return to the hotel. The staggered approach does seem to work, but it would be more helpful if we knew when it was going to be off.

So slathering on the sunscreen, we were off to the citadel in Hué, with JP prepared to be my guide for the day. The emperor's home, the citadel is only about 200 years old so I was very surprised, as the style of architecture and everything he described about the making of it suggested it was really a lot older. Vietnamese emperors were not really very modern for their times, and there wasn't much industrialisation, so the buildings are a bit of a timewarp. Having said that, there isn't much left thanks to the 1968 offensive during "the American war" as it is termed here. The "forbidden purple city" doesn't really exist any more, but the walled area it consisted of is still visible and you get a sense of the emperor and his entourage living a charmed existence, cut off from the rest of the population. I love the name though - I'd quite like to live in a forbidden purple city.

After the citadel in all its ruined splendour, we headed to the Hué provincial museum. There were only two rooms open of the three available, and the one which was most interesting was the one about the American war. Everything in it had an english translation, but whether they were accurate or not is open to question. There was one underneath a photo of Lyndon Johnson which said he "had a headache" when told about the American casualties from 1968. The descriptions and photo's were really though-provoking, especially after seeing some vets from the US on our boat-trip yesterday. There was lots of mentions of the "puppet soldiers" and the "imperialist" Americans.

Next it was back to real life and the delights of the market; we wandered through Dong Ba, the largest marketplace in Hué and easily the most intense market experience I have ever had. What a crazy place. Half the time it feels like you're in someone's warehouse or stockroom, as all the stalls are so close together that there is almost no room to walk between them down the aisle, or else they are piled high with goods so that it is towering above you and it's unclear exactly what all of it is. The types of stall are segregated into sections, so you can wander between stalls of the same type. It works quite well for competition, if you can get past one stall and onto the next - we were too overwhelmed by all the noise /smells /visual overload to be able to try to purchase anything. I am tempted by the face masks lots of the girls wear. In a country which has almost as many scooters/mopeds as it does people (or so it seems when I cross the roads) it makes sense that everywhere would sell face masks, helmets and rain poncho's, but the variety available is impressive. The helmets and masks are fashion accessories, so there are lots of designer variations that I'm pretty certain Burberry in particular is not making!



One lady seemed to be tracking us through the market and it seems as though she targeted westerners in particular, as her english was excellent (a rarer commodity than you might think) and she had a chat with us about our ages and relationship/family. We are evidently far too old to be gallivanting about without children by Vietnamese standards, as confirmed by a random conversation later with two young girls who wanted to practise their language skills. As JP said, large families are highly prized here, where it is still common for all the generations to live together.

After all the walking in the heat, we're both tired. Hopefully we're getting more used to it, as otherwise we'll have melted within the next few days. We're either going to need very frequent laundry trips or a lot of new t-shirts soon if this heat continues, and as we head further south, it is likely to be hotter. Hanoi was much cooler by contrast, and the rain there did keep the temperature down.

Day 6: mausoleums and pagodas

Today was a Hué day, with us booked on a boat trip up the Perfume River to see the mausoleums of the Vietnamese emperors. I suspect it is quite similar to the Chinese with various dynasties of emperors, and we were focusing on the Nguyen dynasty, which united the two halves of Vietnam and also used Hué as the capital.

If you walk by the river here, you are invariably accosted by people trying to convince you their boat trip is the best, but we went on the guide book recommendation and headed for Mr Cu at the Mandarin Cafe. This is a classic backpacker haunt, so it's cheap and cheerful, but they do a fab cold vietnamese coffee and also have a helpful travel booking desk. (We booked both a day boat trip and our onward bus to Hoi An, so felt like we'd achieved something the afternoon we arrived, no mean feat after that train!) The boat trip was only $5 each for a trip from 8am to 4:30pm, so is pretty good value.

We arrived at the cafe at 8am (was up before 7am on my hols - must be crazy) and were taken out to the boat. It tickles me to see how ramshackle things can be in other countries, knowing how uptight we are back home about avoiding accidents. Clearly there are few accidents here in the first place, or I'm assuming handrails and barriers would have been mandatory on all boats on the river. The barge had been converted so that it was a platform with plastic chairs in rows, under a corrugated iron roof with patio doors fencing the whole thing in. The speed of the boats is about walking pace, so it's not a rough ride, and the river is a slow meandering one, but still, it was certainly a change from what I've seen before.

The sights we saw were good. We saw three of the mausoleums, and each one was different. It surprises me in a country that doesn't have emperors any more, with communist flags and posters and uniforms everywhere, that there is still some semblance of historical interest for this part of Vietnam's past. The emperors varied a lot so were not unlike British monarchy - some useful and some not. The mausoleums were built according to the strict instruction of the emperor himself (line always followed the male branch, and when a male heir was not forthcoming, a son was adopted) and it could take years to find a site, much less actually build it. Sometimes the emperor lived there before he died too, so there could be an entire compound for wives and concubines as well as mandarins, etc. - hence the statues of mandarins.

All in all it was a very cultured day, and made me feel I actually learned something about the history of the country. We finished off the day by going out for imperial cuisine at a local "garden restaurant" and had our first bottle of white Dalat wine. Dalat is in the mountains so this is local grapes. I don't think it will export well, but not bad for a history with no viniculture before now, and we'll definitely have it again. For me it is mostly veg and noodles or veg and rice, but all the meals we've had have been very tasty and I'm pleased at how well we've eaten. Things may become trickier in Cambodia apparently, but for now, I'm a happy backpacker.

Day 5: the sleeper train to Hué

Having said our goodbyes to Hanoi yesterday evening after one last ché (weird dessert with beans and gummy sweets in a liquid with ice - odd but tasty), we headed for the train station for our sleeper train to Hué. The website makes it look really lovely, talking about complimentary breakfast and slippers, etc, so our hopes were high. When will we learn that not everyone is entirely honest when selling themselves on the internet? I felt like I'd arrived on a first date with an internet match, only to find out "G_Clooney_123" could win a gurning championship without trying. To say I was disappointed is an understatement - JP took one look at my face and started his 'hearts and minds' campaign to stop me walking straight out of the station and back to the hotel there and then. The only reasons in favour of staying on the train was that a) we were already paid up to the tune of $80 (three nights accommodation at least) and b) Hanoi had outlived it's charms for me thanks to the traffic and noise after our trip to Ha Long Bay.



We put our bags down on our (top) bunks and I had a look at the rest of the carriage. I recently met a lady who brought Dettol wipes with her out here and at the time I thought it was a bit over-the-top, but oh, how I wish I'd shared her vision. The toilet and the sink area were grim, and even the compartment was dodgy, if you didn't look too closely at anything/smell the bedding. The entire train was a shade of green I associate with hospitals, and the guards clearly failed their prison guard exams and hence now work on the tourist trains. Twelve hours later and even JP, who is normally the more relaxed of the two of us, agrees it was not our most successful travel experiment; it is bus, boat or plane for the long trips in future.

On the plus side we are in Hué now and so far, apart from the motion sickness I have developed after three days of rocking on boats and train, all is much better. Hué is much quieter so far, although we haven't seen much, but we have three nights here and the hotel is lovely. Everyone is nice and helpful, and JP has even been to the spa for a massage this afternoon (hence me updating this!). We're off on a boat trip tomorrow, but only for the day, so maybe I'll stop rocking by Monday!

Days 3 & 4: Bay of the Descending Dragon

For the past two days we've been exploring outside Hanoi on a trip to Ha long Bay. Up bright and early on day one, we were meeting the coach at 8am, so it was breakfast at 7. It reminded me of an Agatha Christie story, with the cast assembling in the dining room at the beginning of the tale, as the characters were so diverse, just like they always are in a Poirot story. Not sure what parts himself and I play, but have a feeling "eccentric" and "English" feature strongly in the description.

The journey takes 3 and a half hours, but was on an air-con mini-bus and had a stop half way. The rest stops are really tourist focused, and overpriced as a result, but there is no pressure to buy and at least it was a diversion.

The boat was lovely. We'd done our research and knew that it was at the nice end of the scale, but we were pleased with the amenities and the cabin in particular. Air con, en-suite and with a window, it was lovely. After the obligatory 5 minute photocall from JP to record how lovely the cabin was, we joined the others and were off to see the Amazing cave. I'm not sure that amazing was quite the right word, but it was impressive in size and location. With three chambers, each one bigger than the last, it would have been quite a surprise to those who first found it.

It was then off to the Ti Top island, which is basically a massive limestone outcrop, with 424 steps to the top, where we all took photo's, before returning to ground again and collapsing with a cold drink. The things you do on your holidays...

Back to the boat and the entertainment schedule next had us booked in for shower time (I kid you not) before we had a spring roll cooking class. This proved to be useful since the one time we've tried to make these at home was a disaster with spring roll chaos in the kitchen. JP had a go under the supervision of the boat chef and his second attempt was excellent. Had it not had squid, pork and prawn in it, I'd be able to confirm it, but clearly not all Vietnamese food is veggie friendly.

Dinner was next on the agenda, followed by the option of watching a french film about Vietnam called "indochine" or squid fishing off the back of the boat. We gave each a go, before plumping for an early night.

Day two began equally as early as day one, as there was kayaking for those who wanted to try it. The last time I went in a canoe, I was 14 and we capsized, so not a fond memory for me, plus it had rained heavily so I could see that there would be no chance of staying dry. Instead, we lounged on the sundeck, enjoying the breaking sun which appeared later.

Lunch and then the trip back completed our adventure. Now it is time to head for dinner in Hanoi, before we catch the sleeper train to Hué...

Dead rats and killer mopeds

Hanoi is definitely the noisiest, most hectic and dirtiest city we have ever been too, but following a good night's sleep the Old Quarter and other bits of the city have their obvious charms. Wandering aimlessly around the shop filled streets of the Old Quarter was great fun, seeing all of the different specialties of the roads and experiencing all of the sights and smells. Dodging mopeds on the roads and dead rats on thee floor added even more excitement!

The foods been great though, having had chicken pho for breakfast and beef pho with spring rolls for lunch.

We've also sorted onward transport too Hue on the overnight train, so we have the next few days planned with Ha Long Bay and then Hue.

Day 2: JQ's thoughts on Hanoi

After a good night's sleep, life seems a lot easier. We slept for twelve hours before getting up at 7:30 today, and although still quite tired, we've been able to do Hanoi some justice today. Went down to breakfast and had my first banana pancake breakfast. I guess the trail gained it's name for a reason, but it still tickled me that they are still on the menu all these years later. I had to choose it, but not sure banana pancakes are my thing on a regular basis.

First on the list of sights to see was the final resting place for Ho Chi Minh. He's a popular hero judging by the size of the mausoleum (photo shown). Unfortunately, he's also a tricky chap to see in person as the opening hours turned out to be 7-10.30 only and guess what time we turned up... yup, 10.30 exactly. Making the most of it, we went off to find his stilt house, but couldn't find it in the end. Third sight lucky though - we did get to see the one pillar pagoda. Began to wonder if entire day was going to be a wash-out when this turned out to be as underwhelming as the guide book warned. Lesson for the future - it pays to do your research in advance.

The rest of the day has turned out great though. We went to see the Temple of Literature, and those five courtyards and ornamental gardens were the saving of my sanity. For 10,000 dong (about 40p) it was well worth it. Lunch at a pho shop and then off round the french and old quarters, before back to base to get freshened up for the evneing.

Hanoi at last

After a gruelling 14 hours flying with no sleep we have finally set down in Hanoi, and no sooner had we done so than we were treated to some good old socialist bureaucracy!

Thankfully our visas on arrival were genuine, but in order to get through customs we had to queue at one window to hand over our passports and visa letter, in return for yet another form to be filled in. We then haad to queue at another window to hand the form and $50 over to get our passports back along with completed visa.

However, queueing was probably too strong a word for it. At the second window you just sort of milled around aimlessly with everyone else until a customs person held up a random passport, at which point there would be a surge towards the desk so that everyone could get close enough to see if it was theirs! Luckily ours came out quite quickly, and it was a relatively painleess, if stressy and cluesless, experience.

The same could not be said for the taxi journey into the city! Having been quoted twice what we were expecting at the tourist desk we took our chances with a random taxi only to be treated to some very exciting manoeuvers, dodging mopeds, cyclists, other cars etc all while tottling our horn vigorously.

But we made it to the hotel in one piece and have been allowed to check in early, so just freshening up before doing some exploring.

Ancient Thai proverb...

Title of this post relates to a very dodgy joke JP loves to tell, and which I'll relate when we come back to Thailand.

How amazing is this internet stuff? I'm sitting drinking an iced coffee in the lovely Bangkok airport whilst tapping away on the lovely netbook. I decided that after 10 hours on a plane with no choice of film (it was like sitting in Ulverston cinema all over again, but with less smoking), caffeine was the order of the day. After dispatching JP to go get iced coffees he came back with two enormous buckets of the stuff, so we're not sleeping on the next leg of the journey.

We're tired, but ready for getting to Hanoi. Keep fingers crossed that we can check-in early or we'll have to loiter in Hanoi and by that time it will be about 26 hours without sleep. On the other hand, by the time we've drunk these coffees, we probably won't care either, so it'll all work itself out I guess!

We can already tell we're somewhere exotic by the blast of hot air and humidity upon leaving the plane. JP is a little apprehensive, but we'll adjust.

Day -2: JQ getting the hang of blogging

This whizzy new technology is quite exciting, although I fear I am behind the times; my Guides are quicker with this sort of thing than I am... still, never let it be said I don't give it 110% enthusiasm (at least to start with) so here I am mastering the art of adding photo's. JP has kindly photographed our packing, so here goes...

Preparations

Day -2: JQ is getting things finalised and packing

We're almost ready, but clearly not as ready as others think we should be. I have lost track of the number of people who have asked if we've finished packing yet. How can I use my toothbrush if it is packed? Clearly I take this all too literally.

JP is coping with the crazy fairy's extended stay with admirable calm. I don't know how he does it, but he manages to keep a smile even throughout the mad moments. There is still quite a lot to do to sort things out, from clearing the fridge to getting all the paperwork together, plus deciding what clothes, etc to take. Is a hairdryer a luxury too far? Should aftersun be considered an essential when taking a fair-skinned englishman abroad? Maybe three t-shirts isn't enough, but what about two sweaters when the average temperature will be 35 degrees? Too much thinking and it all becomes overwhelming for this intrepid traveller.